How Do You Determine the Health of Your Marriage?

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s also complex and requires a lot of work to keep healthy. While marriage is often viewed as a single entity, there are actually two people at the centre of every relationship. And unless both parties are willing to work on their own issues and make each other feel loved, happy, and supported—not just by saying “I love you” but also by doing the small things that matter—your union will eventually fall apart.

Take a close look at your communication.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to be able to talk about things that affect your marriage. If there are things bothering you or making you upset, then it’s time to talk them out. It’s also important that both parties listen carefully and respond with respect during these conversations.

You can do this by asking questions like:

  • What did we think of our conversation? Was it helpful?
  • What do we want from each other?

Try listening intently as the other person is talking – really try! And then reflect back what they’ve said in plain language so they know how much you understand their point of view.”

How do you balance your time and energy?

The biggest factor in determining whether or not your marriage is healthy is how you manage your time and energy together. Do you spend enough time together? Is that amount of time enough for both of you? Are there certain activities that one or both of you enjoy more than others, and how do those things impact your relationship?

Also, what about when one or both of you are apart from each other for some reason—for work, for school reasons (or sometimes just because), etc.? How do those situations affect the healthiness of your marriage? And if they’re affecting it negatively, what can be done to change that?

How does your marriage affect your kids?

You don’t want your kids to see you fighting, but there are some good reasons to let them know that you and your spouse are working through a rough patch.

  • They may be able to help brainstorm solutions and facilitate peace-making.
  • They can learn how to resolve conflict by watching you two work together.
  • If they notice that one parent is not being treated well or feels unappreciated, they might draw the same conclusions about how they should expect others (and God) will treat them.

What does each of you do to keep the relationship healthy?

  • Make time for each other.
  • Talk about your feelings.
  • Be supportive.
  • Be patient and forgiving.
  • Be honest with each other, even when it’s hard to do so.

How often do you have sex and how fulfilling is it?

One of the most important things you can do to determine the health of your marriage is to talk about sex.

Sex has a tendency to feel like something that should be kept behind closed doors, but talking about it helps you understand each other’s needs, desires, and preferences in bed. If your partner is feeling unsatisfied with their sex life and doesn’t feel comfortable bringing up their concerns with you, they may leave the relationship altogether.

The frequency of sex within a marriage can vary depending on what both partners want out of it. Some couples have sex once a day while others don’t have any physical contact at all on some days! The quality comes into play when both parties are satisfied with how often they’re having intercourse as well as how satisfying those interactions are (i.e., connection, intimacy).

Are there any red flags that keep popping up in your relationship?

Are there any red flags that keep popping up in your relationship?

  • Listen to your gut. We all have an innate sense of whether something is off about our relationships, but sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong. If you feel like something isn’t quite right and you’re not sure how to approach the problem, ask a friend or family member for advice. If even after hearing their opinion you still aren’t satisfied with the answer, seek out a professional therapist who specialises in marriage or relationship counselling (or couples therapy).
  • Ask your partner if they want help improving things in the relationship. Your spouse might be unnecessarily hurting themselves by staying silent—especially if they’re worried about upsetting or angering you by bringing up problems that need addressing! Not only can this prevent both of you from feeling heard at all times; but it also prevents serious issues from being addressed before they become too big of an elephant in the room that no one wants anymore around them…

If you’re committed to improving your marriage, you can always take steps forward

In the midst of this crazy journey, one thing is clear: marriage is a process. It’s not a destination or a finish line, but rather a journey that you’re constantly moving forward on. It’s important to remember that there will always be ups and downs in your relationship—the key is being able to work through them together and keep moving forward.

Keeping this perspective will help you realise that time isn’t wasted when things don’t go according to plan; it allows both of you to grow as individuals while still keeping your commitment alive.


The key takeaway from all of this is that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to figuring out whether your marriage is in good shape or not. In fact, the best way to assess the health of your relationship may be by taking a look at what makes sense for you personally. If you want some additional guidance on how to take stock of your marriage and improve it over time, don’t hesitate to reach out! We hope our tips have been helpful as you work toward improving things with your partner.